


If I Said Be Happy, It Means I Love You

by julie_chii



Series: Goodbye Precious [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Iwaizumi Hajime Needs Hug, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 06:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6554323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie_chii/pseuds/julie_chii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime was inseparable, that was why Iwaizumi let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Said Be Happy, It Means I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Haikyuu © Furudate Haruichi  
> Night Friend/Light Friend © LOVEND
> 
> Summary, this fanfiction is inspired by doujinshi Light Friend and Night Friend by LOVEND. And I really want to make Iwaizumi suffers. Sorry, Iwa-chan, it's because I love you, okay?

Hajime have known about Oikawa’s feeling for some time. Truthfully, he was delighted to discover it. Yet, at the same time there was a heaviness settled at his stomach when thinking about ‘if’. As long as he could remember, Oikawa always dependent on him, it worried him. Even in the right now where there was nothing between Oikawa and Hajime, maybe just by moving to another school or picking different university would hurt Oikawa’s heart greatly. Just imagine once they were together, created a memories meant for lovers, if Hajime was gone, surely Oikawa would beyond devastated. Unlike Hajime who would go on no matter what happen, to live his life in fullness for Oikawa part too, mourning only in the deepest of his heart.

Their relationship would be unhealthy. Hajime was not good for Oikawa. That was why he need to let go. Of his love for the brunette that would never come across, of angerfrustationquarrell in the imagined future, and of sadness that Oikawa would felt ‘if’ Hajime gone from his routine forever. Before Oikawa unable to let go.

Hajime started easy with limiting the time they went home together. From everyday to five times a week to every other day to once in a while. Then when a girl confess to him, he accepted. It hurt beyond believe to say yes, as if he had betrayed Oikawa, to see Oikawa crestfallen expression to hear the news. The smile they shared that day tasted bitter.

In distractic himself from the hurt of seeing _Iwa-_ chan having the time of his life with a cute girl, Hajime knew, Oikawa shared a bed with a certain setter from Karasuno. No, it was not Tobio, God forbid. It was the other setter, the lovely lonely Sugawara Koushi.

Is it okay like this? Hajime once thought. But to see Oikawa’s smile becoming more and more genuine along the time he spent with Sugawara Koushi, it assured Hajime’s worried heart. Ah, it wil be fine, I am sure.

On a certain day his girlfriend called him, she said she was unhappy. She felt the lack of love in Hajime’s attention. She aware of the distraction inside his head and heart, that someone else had occupied the seat she wished for. Like Hajime, she let go. Though Hajime never loved her as much as he loved Oikawa, he still loved her enough to feel the loneliness and sadness of being left behind.

He didn’t want to feel the loneliness. In a state of hypocrisy he ran to Oikawa and found one Sugawara Koushi in the restroom of his best friend’s apartment. It was the very fist time Hajime met Sugawara Koushi officially after the setter dated _his_ setter, he feigned surprise and ignorance. Their smile, Oikawa and Sugawara’s, looked so happy Hajime didn’t have a heart to cloud it with his loneliness.

He kept silent.

After that the chance to inform Oikawa of his break up never come what was with their busy schedule, dates, and all. Until there was no chance anymore. Oikawa and Sugawara went to _honeymoon_ trip, dubbed by Oikawa, on a cruise. It took months.

Oikawa and Sugawara sent pictures. Via email. They were smiling. And happy.

The third pictures came at his examination result announcement, a congratulations it said. He felt so light and without burden looking at his straigth A raport card and the picture of a happy Oikawa Tooru. Life never felt so perfect, ignoring the bundle of envyjealousysadnesslonelinessmournwhatifregret in his deepest heart.

After Hajime received the tenth picture, it was summer vacation, he ran to a colleague. They asked him to come hiking with them. Hajime always loved nature, he accepted. He told his mother, he never told Oikawa. He pack clothes, ratio, neccesity, and a camera. All in one backpack. He left behind gadget, feeling, and envyjealousysadnesslonelinessmournwhatifregret.

Hiking was fun and exhihalarating. Addicting.

After he conquered one mount, he thirst for another. He never came home, a nomad traveller and hiker. The only means of communication with his reality were public phone, inn’s phone, and postcard.

Hajime prefer postcard. He sent it with a photo he took with his camera.

_This time I am not going home_ _, again. I will be hiking. Again. No need for reply._

_Love, Hajime._

So he never knew Oikawa and Sugawara had been back home. Never knew Oikawa still miss him like a raw wound. Never knew.

.

In the mid of autumn, Oikawa Tooru was sent a simple white envelope with his name and address written on it. It came from a backpack of possesion, Iwaizumi Hajime’s. Some fellow hikers who knew Iwaizumi Hajime sent it after a storm that hit Japan several weeks ago. It only arrived some time ago, without the owner.

Iwaizumi Hajime was one of the casualties.

Body never found.

The only thing left behind was a backpack of possesion. With a simple white envelope addressed for Oikawa Tooru inside, unsent.

Tooru opened the envelope, carefully and tenderly, like how he would carres Iwa- _chan_ if given the chance. A single photo flew, fell like a leaf on Tooru’s feet. It show Iwa- _chan_ ’s triumphtant face after conquering his first mountain. Tooru picked it up, and glimpse words behind the photo.

_Aren’t I happy? Are you happy?_

_Be happy,_

_my best friend!_

_If you aren’t happy until a very very old age I won’t_ _ever forgive you,_

_dumbass!!_

_Love, Hajime_

What was left behind was a farewell. And it was never enough.

END


End file.
